Neurodiversity and shame

"We all have bad moments".

That’s what my aunt said when I told her I live with Bipolar Disorder.

Shame is a significant aspect of life for someone with a neurodivergent brain. When I first found out I had Bipolar Disorder and shared it with someone, I whispered it in their ear.

I've noticed that most neurotypical people often associate Bipolar Disorder with aggression. However, they don't realise that people with Bipolar Disorder typically experience extreme states: either deep depression or a heightened sense of connection and euphoria. Living with Bipolar Disorder involves alternating between these two states: existential dread and mania. While we might enjoy the manic state for its burst of creative ideas and feelings of euphoria, mania is problematic because it’s usually followed by severe depression.

All the people with Bipolar Disorder I know strive to maintain a balance. To achieve this, we undergo psychotherapy, take medications, and continuously adjust them to find what works for us, as it’s a long journey. The frustrating part is that even when we’re happy, we can’t be sure if it’s genuine happiness or the onset of a manic episode that might lead to a downward spiral.

Many neurotypical people also believe that those with Bipolar Disorder cling to victimisation and aren’t genuinely suffering. My aunt might hide her opinion about my mental vulnerability, but once she learns about it, she constantly asks, “Have you been taking your medicine?” As if that’s the solution to all problems.

Understanding and empathy are crucial when it comes to supporting loved ones with Bipolar Disorder or any other condition within the neurodiversity spectrum. Misconceptions and stigma often lead to additional burdens of shame and isolation for those already struggling with their mental health.

Unless neurotypical people are willing to educate themselves about what their loved ones are going through, the suffering can be compounded by shame, leading to deeper depressive states. This lack of understanding and support can be detrimental, making it even more challenging for individuals with Bipolar Disorder to manage their condition and find stability.

By fostering a culture of awareness and compassion, we can help alleviate the unnecessary added burden and create an environment where everyone feels understood and supported in their mental health journey.