The Classic Eastern European Upbringing

In the southernmost part of the world, there's a myth that paints Europe as a unified, wealthy utopia—where everyone supposedly flocks for financial prosperity. However, this portrayal is far from accurate.

There's the Western world, where economies thrive, and then there's Eastern Europe, where I proudly hail from. Even people from the West often know little about our side of the continent.

Eastern Europe is not typically seen as a holiday destination; it lacks what most consider "exotic" (though to me, anything new and unexplored qualifies as exotic). A quick Google search might reveal mostly stark communist-era buildings.

I come from a city called Iași, situated in the eastern part of Romania, near Moldova and Ukraine. In my hometown, there isn’t much to do. Once, a friend from Holland insisted on visiting my country for a holiday. After two days, she started crying, wanting to go back home, as her expectations were not met. Before we left, I had warned her that things were different and urged her to reconsider. She was overwhelmed, partly because my parents, with whom we stayed, were too hospitable.

You see, when someone from the West visits our part of the world, we feel compelled to show them everything, which can often be overwhelming. In Romania, we take pride in even the smallest things, which may seem insignificant to those accustomed to a different standard of living. Our hospitality can feel suffocating, leaving little room for personal space.

Watching my friend struggle brought back memories of my own youth. Returning to Romania is like diving back into my childhood. Her tears echoed my own, and I felt helpless.

Romanians are incredibly kind to others but often harsh on themselves and their children.

Growing up in Eastern Europe can feel like living in a horror movie. It's hard to say whether the regime or our parents came first in this cycle of hardship, but I feel for the children growing up there. The pressure to excel is immense, and failure often results in severe punishment, including physical discipline, which I experienced myself.

It's challenging to emerge unscathed from such an environment, but there are positives. Out of adversity, Romanians often excel. Education is instilled in us through tough love. For me, achieving anything less than perfect grades was unacceptable, leading to negative consequences. My parents didn’t have much money, but they invested everything in my education, setting high expectations.

This rigorous upbringing is why I speak five languages and adapt well to new situations.

I wish my childhood had been softer, as I struggle with self-compassion and understanding the concept of self-love. However, many of the qualities I cherish stem from my roots.

Because of my upbringing, I am a healer and highly sensitive. I instinctively want to help those in pain, and I have a deep intolerance for abuse and injustice. My empathy has allowed me to connect easily with people across different countries. I can make others laugh, and I learn quickly.

Perhaps the most significant impact of my upbringing is the parent I’ve become. Despite my rough education, I've managed to become a gentle parent, fostering emotional intelligence in my child. I may not speak for all Romanians, but I'm proud to use my childhood experiences to help my child understand their emotions. I've learned to be soft, so much so that in this harsh world, I sometimes wish I were tougher. Now, my greatest challenge is learning to be gentle with myself.